Cindy Sheehan Article

I thought that this column was articulate, timely, and mirrors my sentiments closely. Whether you agree with the war in Iraq or not, Cindy Sheehan has lost any credibility she had with her outrageous, reactionary, unpatriotic comments. I wonder if Mrs. Sheehan realizes that under a regime supported by those she so ignorantly refers to as “freedom fighters,” she would have been executed by now for even voicing her opinions. Her comments have betrayed her ignorance, and I’m tired of seeing her in the media.

The other day as I was walking on campus, it happened. I was minding my own business, when, looking up from my New York Times, I realized that one of my fellow pedestrians was on a collision course with me. My counterpart realized this at about the same time, and then followed a moment that has been repeated numerous times in the past to countless members of humanity. The moment of indecision. You know what I’m talking about. There is the pause while the two parties size up the situation. Then there is the simultaneous step to the left. Then there is the mirror move right. This pattern of mimicked movement may go through several repetitions before one or the other finally forges ahead in frustration, leaving both pedestrians to rush hurriedly away to their destinations. However, for me it was different. Some time ago, I examined this indecision and saw it for what is was: a lack of dominant leadership. From that point on I decided that I would be the one to take charge. Instead of pausing to evaluate, I would choose a direction and go without hesitation, thus giving my counterpart a chance to base his reaction against my action. Therefore, when I was faced with the situation I alluded to at the beginning of this blog, I went left, and my fellow pedestrian continued on to my right without missing a beat. Granted, I realize that this appproach has its hazards. There’s always the threat of running into a fellow leader, literally. In addition, some pedestrians, not accustomed to having somebody take charge of the situation, might panic, and nobody wants to see that. But these are risks that we each must be willing to take to bring order to the world of walking. Therefore I appeal to you, my fellow pedestrians, to take charge, and eliminate the scourge of indecisive walking. Just make sure you stay out of my way in the process.

Woman Ticketed for Sitting on a Playground Bench With No Kids

Hey, I thought this was hilarious. Frankly, this jives with pretty much everything I assumed about getting tickets. I think that some officers are just compulsive about it. It always seems to beg the question “don’t you have something better to do with your time?”

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ve had a pretty big distraction this week that has prevented me from posting anything.You see, every year the BYU Alumni Association holds an essay contest designed “to encourage high levels of scholarship among BYU students and promote their understanding and appreciation of BYU’s mission and the legacy and challenges of its founders” (BYU Alumni Website). The topic for this year’s essay was “Catch the Spirit” as it relates to Joseph Smith Jr. as a founder of BYU. On thie surface, this seemed deceptively simple. Spirit? Joseph Smith? They go together like apple pie and baseball. Like peas and pods. Like the little square blocks that fit into the little square holes. Easy.

However, as I started to write the essay, I began to realize that “Catch the Spirit” was a little too rah-rah to apply handily to a meaningful topic. The longer I labored over this essay, the more exasperated I became until finally, in my frustration I typed this paragraph:

“‘Catch the Spirit’ is the type of saccharine, cutesy slogan that sounds good on paper but makes it difficult to put a real fine point on this topic. Aside from the obvious ‘catching the Spirit’ that can help you gain a real, spiritually-based education, it’s hard to see a really good, serious application. It’s just too cute, too cliche. In fact, I think of ‘Catch the Spirit,’ and I see a bunch of hyperactive shirtless guys with their faces and chests painted freezing their nipples off in a November snowstorm as they cheer on the school football team. That’s school spirit, and those guys have caught it. And it’s not the only thing they’ll be catching. That school spirit will go real well with the pneumonia they catch from exposure. So how the heck to you apply that to Joseph Smith and BYU? I mean, I just don’t see Brother Joseph as the bare-chested maniac type.”

Needless to say, I felt better after writing that, and ultimately I was considering submitting it in leiu of a real essay, should I be unable to come up with anything else. To make a long story short, I wrote a real essay, and hopefully I’ll hear back on it soon. I’ll try to keep the blog community updated as details become available.

Check out “The Hire” at BMWFilms.com. Now, whevever anybody mentions “made for internet movies,” I’m automatically skeptical. In my experience, made for internet films are poorly directed, underfunded, lacking in acting talent, and dramatically inferior. Thererfore, when my roommate told me about this website, explaining that it was a series of short films in which the main character drives a BMW, I was less than enthusiastic. I had images of goofy-looking guys joyriding in a used Beemer and trying to pass it off as cinema running through my head. However, I relented and watched one of these shorts on my roommate’s computer. A couple of hours later, I had downloaded all eight available short films and a couple of additional features. They were that good.

First, the executive producer knows a few of the right people within Hollywood. These shorts are directed by some of the top people in the business, such as Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels), and John Woo (Broken Arrow, Windtalkers). In addition, these films have considerable star power, with appearances by Madonna, Don Cheadle, and James Brown, among others. And then there are the cars. Each film features “The Hire,” played by Clive Owen, driving a brand-spanking-new BMW, which inevitably gets shot up, jumped, crunched, and driven to its limits. What more could you ask for?

In summary, if you like cinematics, you’ll love these films for their artistry and storytelling. If you like BMW’s, you’ll love these films for their portrayal of the attributes that make Beemers great. And if you just like entertainment, sit back and enjoy the show. It’ll be a sweet ride. BMW sweet.

I think that if I was going to choose a type of action movie character to be, I would want to be the sophisticated bad guy. I mean, let’s look at the perks:

1.) You have incredible power. Not superpowers, necessarily, but power to command men who will do just about anything for you for no apparent reason. Somebody insults you? Steals your joke? Looks at you the wrong way? With naught but a word or the slightest of gestures, they’ll mysteriously disappear and you’ll never have to see them again. I think that I would use this power to eliminate the “annoying-comment-makers” in several of my classes.

2.) You get to wear snazzy clothes. For this one, I refer you to Raz Al-Ghul (Liam Neeson) in Batman Begins. First, he appears in a filthy prison camp wearing a grey silk suit. Who does that? Later on he appears in a sharp black evening tux at the Bruce Wayne birthday party. In fact, the only time he’s not dressed like a GQ model is when he’s wearing his ninja suit, which has its own special appeal. I’d be OK with that.

3.) Life is fairly easy for a sophisticated bad guy. You don’t have to get into any fights that you don’t want to (you have thugs for that.) In fact, you can spend all your time hobnobbing at charity balls with the creme de la creme of society, vacationing in exotic locations, or relaxing in your luxurious and technologically advanced secret hideout. In fact, the only work actually required of you as a sophisticated evil villian is to devise the plans and pull strings behind the scenes at the aforementioned balls. In the meantime, your archenemy, Superhero X is swinging from rooftops, getting bruised and beaten, and generally experiencing a miserable existence.

4.) Finally, you get to talk in a sophisticated and sexy clipped English accent. Who wouldn’t want that?

That said, I do realize that there are some disadvantages to being a sophisticated villian, namely, in the end of the movie, you’re probably going to die. But at least you can rest assured that you’ll go out with a bang.

As I was attempting to find a parking spot today, I was forced to make a difficult decision. Do I resort to parking lot piracy, sailing about the lot, trying to find the elusive empty spot close to my destination? Or do I become a pioneer of parking, trailblazing my way intrepidly into parts of the lot yet unpopulated, thus guaranteeing me a parking spot? It was a difficult decision, one that many of us are forced to make each day. And it seems that most of us make the same decision most of the time. But what are the deciding factors in this parking lot personality clash?

I think that those who choose to park in the outskirts of the lot have specific reasons for doing so. Some are practical and logical. Perhaps the owner of a new Porsche would prefer to keep his fine automobile out of the fray that often characterizes most busy parking lots. Then there is the rationale that it takes as long to park at the edge and walk to the destination as it does to patrol the lot until a closer spot becomes available. However, I think personality has a lot to do with it. Take my little brother, for example. He is a certified “far parker.” He doesn’t even bother to look at the front part of the lot. He makes a beeline straight for the boonies, where he parks his car and treks to the store/mall/whatever. The thing about my brother is that he is not the most patient of souls. He is a man of action, not given to indecision or waiting, and this attitude is plainly manifest in his parking decision. My roommate Mark, also a far parker, is a very mellow, low key guy, and he parks on the outer edges to avoid the trouble and stress that can accompany the search for a close spot. Finally, I picture some far parkers as brittle, stressed-out people who are stretched to the snapping point and who park on the outskirts in order to aviod any situation that could trigger an eposode of parking lot brutality.

In stark contrast, we see those whom I have dubbed “parking lot sharks.” Parking lot sharks are the cars you see prowling around the front area of a busy lot, waiting to pounce on the first available spot that comes open. They can often be found stalking people out to their cars, waiting, with blinker on, for the newly vacated spot. Just as the far parkers, these parking lot predators have their purposes for their behavior. Because I would classify myself as somewhat of a parking lot shark, I can disclose my reasoning behind my behavior. I think my primary motivation is that I would rather be sitting in my car than walking. So what if it takes as much time or longer to find a close spot than to just park in the boonies and walk? At least I’m comfortable in my automobile, and I’m not required to exert any energy. Now you may say that this is rooted in sheer laziness, however, I disagree. I believe my energy to be a valuable commodity, not to be lightly thrown away. I see no purpose in expending my energy unneccesarily by walking when I could have driven there. In addition, I, like many parking lot sharks, posess an uncanny amount of patience. We can afford to wait for that elusive spot to open up, if not just for the pride we feel in looking at our car in that primo spot and knowing that others are jealous. I also feel that parking lot sharks have evolved a level of skill that will never be known to most far parkers. What far parker has developed the reflexes to snatch a spot from another shark? Or how many far-parkers are familiar with the nuances of the blinker claim? Granted, sometimes parking lot sharks are forced to park in the outlying parts of the lot, which is akin to going hungry, but rest assured that next time, we will get that spot. And it’s gonna be sweet.

Over the past week I’ve had a horrible case of writer’s block. So…that’s all you get.

This morning, like most mornings, I woke up and went straight to the computer to check my email. And this morning, like most mornings, my inbox was empty. So I checked my work email. Nada. My student email account. Nope. The email account I set up specifically to receive junk mail. Nothing. Rejected by junk mail?! For several days running?!

Blast.

Don’t tell me I’m the only one who’s ever felt the effects of email dejection. I’m positive its one of the more common ailments of our technologically burdened society. For those of you in need of greater explanation, here’s a firsthand account of the successive stages and possible symptoms of email dejection:

Mild: You open your email account minimally, only when needed, taking it for granted that you will have an email in your inbox. When the page loads, however, you are mildly disappointed that your only email is from Amazon.com offering you 30% off. Slightly letdown, you delete the email and go on with your day.
Moderate: You open your account frequently, specifically with the purpose of seeing if anything’s in your inbox. As the page loads, you cross your fingers and pray that something’s there. Yes—blessed day—you have an email telling you to “order now for 30% off.” 30% off? Off what? Who cares—you got mail!
Severe: You check your email account far more than necessary, each time being fully aware that there’s a better chance the Royals will go on a winning streak (come on: 44-92?) than there is of you having something in your inbox. Still, you continue checking it, more frequently and compulsively than ever. Eventually, overcome by email dejection, desperation kicks in—you end up ordering something for 30% off and revel in the sheer pleasure of having the confirmation email waiting for you in your inbox.

Unfortunately, there is little you can do to combat the effects of email dejection. Possible treatments include: distractions, decent employment, and abstaining from technology for given periods of time. However, these are temporary cures that will only work for small amounts of time. Long-term solutions include subscribing to a daily email list (click here), joining clubs, and, generally, making better friends.

For those of you out there struggling with email dejection, know that you don’t have to suffer by yourself—not when you can order things from Amazon for 30% off!

This past week I have come to the realization that I am officially a cell phone addict. I should have seen it coming. All the signs were there.
When I first got a cell phone, I said the same thing as everybody else. “I can just turn it off.” And at the beginning, that’s the way it was. I was independent, and my phone was merely a tool to be left at home or taken along according to my will. But then I began to experience “cell phone creep.” The phone became an entity unto itself, unwilling to be left behind. And should the phone be neglected, it would wreak its psychological revenge. The uncomfortable feeling of missing weight in my left front pocket. The phantom call vibrations on my leg, causing me to feel for the nonexistent phone. The near panic of being disconnected from the social communications network that has come to comprise my world. These are but a few of the many symptoms of phone withdrawl that I have experienced, and yet I still wasn’t willing to give up my illusion of control.
But it gets worse. There is yet another dimension to my addiction. When I bought my first phone, I was in cell phone sales. I felt that in order to be an effective salesperson, I had to buy the nicest phone with all the gadgets: the camera, the voice dial, the MP3 ringtone player, and the plethora of other options of dubious value. I no longer sell cell phones, but I still have the phone, and I have come to rely on the multitudinous features. Forget the fact that putting anything into the daytimer program is an arduous process, and the voice dial has proven to be too much effort to utilize effectively. I need these functions. I’m addicted.
This brings me to the means whereby I finally recognized my addiction. My contract with T-Mobile is at an end, and I am about to migrate my number to Verizon wireless in order to join my parents’ family plan, and along with this occasion, I will need a new phone. However, as I have looked at phones, I realized that I wouldn’t, couldn’t use one of the free phones. It has to be one of the nice ones. I am not just addicted to having a cell phone any more. I’m addicted to having a nice one.
They say that with addiction, sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom before you realize your predicament. Perhaps I’ve hit that point. But at least you can get ahold of me no matter where I am. And that’s worth it, right?