I walked out to my car the other day and came across this card stuck between my car window and car door.

I was fairly amused by the irony of receiving a card advertising a $20,000-a-month job in this fashion. I mean, it begs the question if this guy knows how to make this kind of money, what is he doing wasting his time going from car to car instead of making sick money all the time? It just doesn’t make sense.

Ok, so that seems pretty cut and dried, but let’s take this even further. Let’s say that this guy is advertising what is doubtless a real-estate scheme or an MLM and is actually making this kind of money. And let’s say that he just hired some schmoe to pass out his cards. Well, the same question still applies. Why would this guy waste his time teaching someone else how to make that kind of money when he could use his time to make that money himself? Furthermore, what is his card-deliverer doing passing out cards instead of using the system himself?

Thanks but no thanks for the business opportunity buddy.

Longtime readers of this blog will be familiar with an early post entitled “Party Like A Rock Star” in which friend of the blog Kat! wrote about kids drinking energy drinks as a legal substitute for alcohol. Energy Fiend has taken this idea a step further by giving caffeine junkies a tool to calculate exactly how much hyper-caffeinated beverage they can imbibe before they die of caffeine overdose. The appropriately titled “Death By Caffeine” calculator can be found here.

For the record, Wired X294 had the highest caffeine concentration I could find, with a whopping 294g of caffeine per serving. After pounding 44.11 cans, I’d be a dead man. You have been warned. Happy calculating!

Thanks, Preston.

I was cleaning out my little brother’s room a couple of days ago, and I came across an interesting little pamphlet entitled “Men of Metal: Eyewitness Accounts of Humanoid Robots,” purporting to be an excerpt from a book written by a British journalist who had chronicled the paranormal happenings in the countryside surrounding the town of Oxford, England. When I was a kid, I was a sucker for Sasquatch, the Loch Ness monster, the Abominable Snowman, the Bermuda Triangle, and pretty much everything else. So naturally, I was fascinated by this new twist of the paranormal. As I started to read, I became engrossed by this well-written, believable account of a journalist who was investigating the reports of giant androids roaming the Oxford countryside, aiding motorists who were in danger. As his investigation proceeded, he came across the name of Dr. Colin Mahew, a design engineer and robotics enthusiast who was involved with the Mini Cooper‘s design team. Though his questions to the good doctor were fruitless, the journalist was led to believe that Mahew had “overengineered” the Mini Cooper to allow it to be retrofitted to become a gigantic android. The pamphlet’s arguments were interesting and didn’t smell of conspiracy theory, but being the unbeliever that I am, despite my early interests, I packed the pamphlet away, intending not to think about it again. However, I had this nagging recollection of a graphic design site that I visited some time ago that featured some transformer-esque Mini Cooper androids. So today I decided to let the all-powerful Google answer my questions.

What I turned up wasn’t really shocking, actually. These androids actually exist! In fact, they can be seen starring in this commercial. But seriously, apparently the marketing firm that BMW had hired placed these false book excerpts in Automobile, Rolling Stone, and other magazines to create a buzz. There were fake websites created to corroborate the story, thus lending credibility to the tale of android Mini Coopers. Ultimately, the hoax was unveiled in the form of toys and a prominent ad in downtown New York. So in the end it was all just a clever marketing ploy, but it was definitely memorable, and somewhat viral. There was definitely a lot of discussion previous to the hoax’s resolution. So that’s the story. There are no giant android-Mini Coopers roaming the Oxford countryside. That’s because they’re in Oregon, hanging out with Bigfoot.

So I was helping a friend of mine find some pages on whaling for a school assignment. As I Googled such pointed terms as “Whaling for Dummies” and “How to Whale” I was linked to some incredibly helpful pages. I thought I’d share them with you, my loyal readers.

First we have “The Infamous Exploding Whale” page. For those of you unfamiliar with the topic, apparently, the Oregon State Highway Division used 1/2 a ton of dynamite for “whale-removal purposes.” And yes, the site has video. Enjoy.

On a slightly less-related note, I also came across “Little-Known Literary Facts” by David Lubar, in which he claims that the working title for Moby Dick was actually Whaling for Dummies. Other interesting tidbits include the true origins of Finnegan’s Wake and why Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy both wrote such freakin’ long books.

I came across this and was concerned about the ramifications. Alledgedly, under the Freedom of Information Act, driver’s license information has been made available by state motor vehicle offices via a central database. Check for yourself in the database here. Please post your response to this disturbing development in Uncle Sam’s continued infringement upon our privacy in the name of security.

I had to do a double take when I read the headline for this story. Such delicious irony is far too rare in the world around us, making this story truly noteworthy.
You probably don’t have to read the article, the title says it all…
Actress Breaks Arm Performing Song ‘I’m an Accident Waiting to Happen’

I got an email tonight from a concerned reader who noted that I failed to note anywhere in my blog about the success of a certain sports team of my acquaintance. I want this reader to know that I was going to write this entry after I got done with my celebratory Martinelli’s, but if you insist…

For the first time in MLB history, a team from the great land of Texas is in the World Series. The Houston Astros (woot!) beat the St. Louis Cardinals 5-1 in Game 6 of the NL Championship, securing themselves a spot in the World Series. This is a great moment for me. You see, I spent two years in Houston, Texas as a missionary, and during that time of adopting all things Texas, I also adopted the struggling Astros. I remember the euphoria of victory last year as we slipped into the playoffs on a wild card spot. I remember the agony of defeat as the Cardinals beat us to go on to the NL Championship series. And I remember the hope for better luck next year.

Here we are at next year, in a place we only dared dream we might be. So let me say congratulations to the ‘Stros, best of luck against those dirty White Sox, and thanks for a great ride so far.

Woman Ticketed for Sitting on a Playground Bench With No Kids

Hey, I thought this was hilarious. Frankly, this jives with pretty much everything I assumed about getting tickets. I think that some officers are just compulsive about it. It always seems to beg the question “don’t you have something better to do with your time?”