So I was helping a friend of mine find some pages on whaling for a school assignment. As I Googled such pointed terms as “Whaling for Dummies” and “How to Whale” I was linked to some incredibly helpful pages. I thought I’d share them with you, my loyal readers.

First we have “The Infamous Exploding Whale” page. For those of you unfamiliar with the topic, apparently, the Oregon State Highway Division used 1/2 a ton of dynamite for “whale-removal purposes.” And yes, the site has video. Enjoy.

On a slightly less-related note, I also came across “Little-Known Literary Facts” by David Lubar, in which he claims that the working title for Moby Dick was actually Whaling for Dummies. Other interesting tidbits include the true origins of Finnegan’s Wake and why Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy both wrote such freakin’ long books.

Today I began my vacation to Maryland, and thus far it’s been a pretty eventful trip. I mean, I saw some lady totally wipe out on the stairs, I was able to see a SR-71 up close, and I saw pretty much the most obvious sign I have ever had the privilege of personally witnessing. We flew into Dulles International Airport just outside of DC, and after the several-hour flight, I paid a visit to the gentlemen’s room to freshen up. After washing my hands, I turned to evaluate what given means had been provided for me to dry my dampened digits. Much to my dismay, I saw the dreaded bank of electric air dryers. Typically, this means that I just dry my hands on my jeans and have done with it. However, in what appears now to be a flash of inspiration motivated me to give the air dryers a chance. As I went to turn the thing on, a notice on the dryer caught my eye:”Do not operate with wet hands. Risk of electrical shock.” Are they serious? I mean, why install a bank of dryers if you can only use them when your hands are dry? Maybe I’m missing the point here, but I don’t think so. Needless to say, I saw an old-fashioned paper-towel dispenser (if it ain’t broke…) and I beat a hasty retreat after contributing in my own way to rainforest destruction.

In retrospect, I’m a little concerned about flying back to SLC as a result of this experience. Either I need to be concerned about a management that feels that such a sign is necessary, or I need to be worried about my fellow passengers who necessitate such a sign. In any case, the intruding reminders of the reality of the presence of idiots around me has once again made my world feel a little less safe.

Not that I’m much of a drinker, but I do appreciate a REALLY BIG AD for beer every now and then. Check it out. (But only if you’re over 18.) It’s really big.

Longtime readers of the blog will remember one of my first posts about why I chose to become an English Major. At the time I was accused of merely trying to make myself feel better about the fact that I am destined for a life of culture and poverty as a result of my major decision. Well, I have come across some new information that might make a believer out of the rest of you.

Dave Barry on College

I came across this and was concerned about the ramifications. Alledgedly, under the Freedom of Information Act, driver’s license information has been made available by state motor vehicle offices via a central database. Check for yourself in the database here. Please post your response to this disturbing development in Uncle Sam’s continued infringement upon our privacy in the name of security.

“You can still score a goal even if there’s a goalie in the way.”

-Natalie Bulleigh on going after engaged guys

Politics has always attracted more than its share of pretentious blowhards and precocious wordsmiths. However, the emphasis on eloquence has proven to be a two-edged sword for some. Recently, there has been a lot of focus on “Dubya” and his somewhat unique vocabulary. His attempted verbosity has given us such gems as “Pledgealleigance (pledging your allegiance to one nation under God),” “disassemble (that means not tell the truth),” and “contamidated.” (For more on Dubya’s slippery grasp of the English language, click here.) But before there was “Dubya,” there was Dan Quayle.
Dan Quayle served as Vice President from 1989 to 1993 under President George Herber Walker Bush. During his time in office he was the source of numerous comments of an inadvertantly humorous nature. Some were observations that can only be described as painfully obvious (“A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.”), while others were so logically convoluted that one could only guess at his meaning (“We don’t want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.”). In any case, he has given me and many others many a laugh at his expense. Because of this, I feel that naming him a Towering Intellect is well within the spirit of this site. Dan said it best: “People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.” How true that is.

I’ve neglected blogging a little bit the past couple of days because I’m a bit daunted by the title of my website. With a name like “ToweringIntellect,” you can’t really type junk and call it good. I originally thought that it would be really tongue in cheek, but I’m starting to realize that even the humor has to be pretty good. Therefore, any suggestions and comments are welcome when it comes to improving the content of my blog. And compliments are OK too.
In any case, I do want to nominate my first Towering Intellect in this blog. I was surfing the web yesterday and came across this flash game. As I worked on potting the little pixelated balls into their electronic pockets, I realized that it took somebody some serious time to come up with this game. Multiply this by hundreds of applications (see AddictingGames.com), and you get a feel for the huge amount of effort that goes into helping people waste time on the internet. I don’t know who these people are, but I want to give them props for giving me an alternative to solitaire when I want to waste time on my computer.