Get In Line
The semesterly ritual of textbook purchasing is often a time of reflection for me. I mean, what else do you do with all the time you spend standing in line to purchase the overpriced (their fault) and underused (my fault) textbooks required by collegiate studies? This year was a veritable smorgasbord of ponderment. I managed to push my way through my fellow students and against all hope, locate my textbooks, only to be greeted by a line winding itself around half the bookstore. Plenty of time to think. My first thought was how carnival-like the atmosphere was. Must have been all the clowns standing around. My second thought was how much I hate standing in line.
Whenever I find myself waiting in line the mental image of prisoners in the gulag waiting for their gruel comes unbidden to my mind. Perhaps these images are a throwback from my childhood. To my memory, my elementary school experience consisted of three basic activities: class, recess, and standing in line to go to either of the former. You would stand in line to go inside to begin the day. You would then line up to go to recess. Then to go back inside? Get in line. If you want to get a drink, there’s the line. Lunch lines. Bus lines. Lines to go to assemblies. You get the picture. I wonder if I spent most of my childhood in line. Thus, with all my years of experience getting in line, I have had the time to observe certain aspects of line waiting, which I will share in a series of posts. In addition, feel free to share your own observations.
First, the amount of satisfaction you get from getting to the front of the line is not equal to the wait, but rather the amount of people waiting behind you. As I was griping about the line at the bookstore when I got back to my apartment, my roommate Mark commented to me that when he went to the bookstore earlier that day, the line had been even longer. After explaining the length of the line, he remarked bitterly “and then almost nobody got in line behind me.” He didn’t gripe about the wait, he griped about the lack of people behind him. Then I realized how much satisfaction I had felt at the register as I looked behind me at all the people waiting in line. I have noticed this same feeling while waiting in line at movie premiers and concert ticket lines. It’s true.
Tomorrow: The Economics of Line-Cutting.
September 1st, 2005 at 12:25 pm
One thing that really ticks me off are all the annoying hoops that people make us jump through to appease thier simple wants. It’s so frustrating to wait for an hour to get to the front of a line only to find out that you don’t have all of the information, approval, or qualifications to do whatever it is you were waiting around to do… for example. Before registering for college, I was required to talk to a career assesment counselor to evaluate what my interests were so as to take the correct classes. I called in and asked for an apointment only to find out to my great pleasure, that they took walk-ins only. I asked when they were the least busy, and I was told that there was rarely anyone present between the hours of 9:00 and 11:00. I was determined to arrive early so as to get this grueling process over as soon as physically possible. I took next the morning off work, and headed down to the counseling office in good old ‘Happy Valley’ only to find that the office was on the other side of campus. I quickly meandered my way over to the Communications trailer and found that nobody was present. I waited around for a half hour until people started showing up. I was, however, ignored for 20 or so minutes. Finally, an astute professor realised that I was just sitting patiently outside his office and asked if I needed something. ‘Why yes’, I responded ‘I’m looking for a career assesment counselor.’ ‘Oh,’ said he, ’she’s not in today’. I was quickly ushered back to where I came from… the counseling office. I promptly waited in line for an hour only to find out through the a different counselor that my ACT scores had expired, and I needed to take a 1 and a half hour placement test. (I’m glad they let me know about that one.) I was told to return to her office to continue our assesment after taking it. By this time, my morning was shot, and I was doubting returning to work anytime that day. I went and took the test (which didn’t really take an hour and a half), waited in line for a counselor again, and then … FINALLY … was approved to register for classes. What an effecient system! It’s no wonder that the number of registered students here at UVSC has plumited to around half this semester. They are clearly not prepared for whatever it is that they’r preparing for. Gotta love hoop jumping!
September 1st, 2005 at 5:50 pm
It has been a while since I last commented thanks in part to the technologically impaired Utah State University, but never fear- Captain Amazing is here! Throughout my years of standing in line I have “invented” several little games to play that help the time go by. My personal favorite goes something like this… Go ahead a cut the cheese, the quieter the better, and then stare indicitively at the people nearest you with your nose cringed. Just keep on staring and enjoy the show. Another game depends on your acting ability. In fact, you should try this one at home before you make a fool of yourself. Fake a sneeze; if it is convincing then next time you are in line “sneeze” on the person directly in front of you. Keep doing this until you get some type of reaction. Seriously what is the worst that could happen? Maybe they will let you move in front of them.
This next one also depends on your acting ability, more like your ability to keep a straight face - Start up a casual conversation with the person behind or in front of you. In your chat, nonchalantly mention that if the line doesn’t hurry you might be late for your doctor’s appointment. Now this next part is crucial, Immediately after this ask if they have ever heard of the SARS virus in the United States. Again, you might earn yourself a few spots in line.
In the long run I think a pleasurable line waiting experience depends on your attitude and perspective… And whether anyone around has B.O.
September 27th, 2005 at 5:24 pm
Captain Amazing rocks my world!!!