Lot Dynamics
As I was attempting to find a parking spot today, I was forced to make a difficult decision. Do I resort to parking lot piracy, sailing about the lot, trying to find the elusive empty spot close to my destination? Or do I become a pioneer of parking, trailblazing my way intrepidly into parts of the lot yet unpopulated, thus guaranteeing me a parking spot? It was a difficult decision, one that many of us are forced to make each day. And it seems that most of us make the same decision most of the time. But what are the deciding factors in this parking lot personality clash?
I think that those who choose to park in the outskirts of the lot have specific reasons for doing so. Some are practical and logical. Perhaps the owner of a new Porsche would prefer to keep his fine automobile out of the fray that often characterizes most busy parking lots. Then there is the rationale that it takes as long to park at the edge and walk to the destination as it does to patrol the lot until a closer spot becomes available. However, I think personality has a lot to do with it. Take my little brother, for example. He is a certified “far parker.” He doesn’t even bother to look at the front part of the lot. He makes a beeline straight for the boonies, where he parks his car and treks to the store/mall/whatever. The thing about my brother is that he is not the most patient of souls. He is a man of action, not given to indecision or waiting, and this attitude is plainly manifest in his parking decision. My roommate Mark, also a far parker, is a very mellow, low key guy, and he parks on the outer edges to avoid the trouble and stress that can accompany the search for a close spot. Finally, I picture some far parkers as brittle, stressed-out people who are stretched to the snapping point and who park on the outskirts in order to aviod any situation that could trigger an eposode of parking lot brutality.
In stark contrast, we see those whom I have dubbed “parking lot sharks.” Parking lot sharks are the cars you see prowling around the front area of a busy lot, waiting to pounce on the first available spot that comes open. They can often be found stalking people out to their cars, waiting, with blinker on, for the newly vacated spot. Just as the far parkers, these parking lot predators have their purposes for their behavior. Because I would classify myself as somewhat of a parking lot shark, I can disclose my reasoning behind my behavior. I think my primary motivation is that I would rather be sitting in my car than walking. So what if it takes as much time or longer to find a close spot than to just park in the boonies and walk? At least I’m comfortable in my automobile, and I’m not required to exert any energy. Now you may say that this is rooted in sheer laziness, however, I disagree. I believe my energy to be a valuable commodity, not to be lightly thrown away. I see no purpose in expending my energy unneccesarily by walking when I could have driven there. In addition, I, like many parking lot sharks, posess an uncanny amount of patience. We can afford to wait for that elusive spot to open up, if not just for the pride we feel in looking at our car in that primo spot and knowing that others are jealous. I also feel that parking lot sharks have evolved a level of skill that will never be known to most far parkers. What far parker has developed the reflexes to snatch a spot from another shark? Or how many far-parkers are familiar with the nuances of the blinker claim? Granted, sometimes parking lot sharks are forced to park in the outlying parts of the lot, which is akin to going hungry, but rest assured that next time, we will get that spot. And it’s gonna be sweet.
September 12th, 2005 at 2:22 pm
Dude, you’re wierd.
September 12th, 2005 at 5:02 pm
I’m a shark too! *Grrr!* Oh sharks dont really make noises do they? Huh well *Old Jaws Movie score*
But I’d rather sit in the car and wait for s spot, we all have our things.. Do you still carry travel size hand sanitizer with you Nate?? :p
September 13th, 2005 at 5:13 pm
I’m surprised that such a thorough analysis of parking lot personalities would exclude what I believe to be the largest group of parkers: The Once-over Parkers. This group manages to be optimistic and hopeful for the perfect parking spot while maintaining their grasp on reality by keeping their expectations at reasonable levels. They know that their chances of scoring that sweet spot at the front of the lot are about a million to one, but they also recognize that the one time has to happen at some point, so why not now?
With that in mind, the once-over parker drives around the front of the parking lot once and only once. Going down the aisles is often substituted with a quick glance so as to not waste unnecessary time. If a good spot is there, great! The once-overer is elated with the unexpected find. But if there are no vacancies and no sign that an occupied spot will be emptied shortly (the once-overers are akin to the blinker claim and snatching methods typically utilized by the sharks), the once-over parker quickly concedes to the back of the parking lot, content with the fate of walking. The more optimistic of the once-overers might even look at the situation with a hint of gratitude for the opportunity to get some exercise and enjoy the fresh air.
Now take a minute to contemplate your own tendencies when parking the car. I think if we all take a good, hard look at ourselves, we’ll find a little bit of the once-over parker in all of us.
September 19th, 2005 at 9:32 am
First of all …”ba ha hah ha hah ah ah ah ah a!!!!” .. and second of all - I will have to proudly admit that I am a “Once-over Parker.” - to the T. Ya find a close spot, GREAT - if not, oh well!
- move on - park real fast and get out of that car! - Maybe it’s that I’m too ancy of a person to waste so much time in finding a spot to spare a few steps. When I’m going somewhere I park as fast as I can and quickly walk to my destination, quickly get what I need, and then I’m off. (unless of course I happen to walk by the school supply section and get thrown off.. I have an odd intrique for that type of thing, maybe it’s the teacher in me )
) - For example - Saturday my sister, as wonderful as she is, manipulated me into going to Costco “real quick” with her. Despite the mounds of homework I had, I consented and we were off! As we pulled into the extremely crowded lot I was shocked to see the change that quickly overcame her … ya see, she isn’t a very nice shark. I couldn’t believe the sudden shift in mood . She was experiencing “lot rage!” Every car that snuck into a forseen spot was her new enemy. She continued on, weaving in and out.. in and out…in and out, hand on blinker switch from isle to isle - “I don’t want to walk all they way from there! My foot hurts!” Which was odd concidering once in Costco her foot seemed to magically heal. She then begun to express to me for what seemed to be FOREVER of her disgust of the high volume of handicapped spots! At that point I had HAD IT. It’s one thing to be upset at other sharks.. but handicapped spots? - And on top of that - this was not “real quick” trip I had expected - I tried to nicely hold myself together as I watched the wasted minutes pass by as thoughts of my upcomming test ran through my mind … I didn’t know what to say - Infact! I was a bit worried she was going to EAT me. (hee hee) - We finally parked in what I would think a conciderably close spot and she vented the whole way into the store…… I was seriously in shock . As we walked in - Her pleasant mood returned and it was over ..
As odd as this topic seems, I think that it is one that needed to be addressed - I for one am quite excited for the new conversation striker to explain to sharks that they drive me nuts. (I say that in the nicest way possible of course
Maybe not all sharks are like this, or maybe they are and keep all of their coments to themselves. (if so.. don’t ya think a nice walk could do ya some good?) hee hee… Thank you for the chance to verbalize my crazy encounter with “the Shark!” dun dun duuuun!!!
September 19th, 2005 at 9:37 am
oh.. and please excuse my poor grammar and spelling -
.. English and other related subjects have always been a weak spot for me! … but… there you have it! … have a wonderful day! 
September 28th, 2006 at 8:16 am
cara michelle
Interesting post. I came across this blog by accident, but it was a good accident. I have now bookmarked your blog for future use. Best wishes. Cara Wakelin.