Sophisticated Evil
I think that if I was going to choose a type of action movie character to be, I would want to be the sophisticated bad guy. I mean, let’s look at the perks:
1.) You have incredible power. Not superpowers, necessarily, but power to command men who will do just about anything for you for no apparent reason. Somebody insults you? Steals your joke? Looks at you the wrong way? With naught but a word or the slightest of gestures, they’ll mysteriously disappear and you’ll never have to see them again. I think that I would use this power to eliminate the “annoying-comment-makers” in several of my classes.
2.) You get to wear snazzy clothes. For this one, I refer you to Raz Al-Ghul (Liam Neeson) in Batman Begins. First, he appears in a filthy prison camp wearing a grey silk suit. Who does that? Later on he appears in a sharp black evening tux at the Bruce Wayne birthday party. In fact, the only time he’s not dressed like a GQ model is when he’s wearing his ninja suit, which has its own special appeal. I’d be OK with that.
3.) Life is fairly easy for a sophisticated bad guy. You don’t have to get into any fights that you don’t want to (you have thugs for that.) In fact, you can spend all your time hobnobbing at charity balls with the creme de la creme of society, vacationing in exotic locations, or relaxing in your luxurious and technologically advanced secret hideout. In fact, the only work actually required of you as a sophisticated evil villian is to devise the plans and pull strings behind the scenes at the aforementioned balls. In the meantime, your archenemy, Superhero X is swinging from rooftops, getting bruised and beaten, and generally experiencing a miserable existence.
4.) Finally, you get to talk in a sophisticated and sexy clipped English accent. Who wouldn’t want that?
That said, I do realize that there are some disadvantages to being a sophisticated villian, namely, in the end of the movie, you’re probably going to die. But at least you can rest assured that you’ll go out with a bang.
September 16th, 2005 at 10:52 pm
You always have these interesting ways of making the oddest of subjects seem enlightening. As always you’ve made me wonder …Hmm English accents are pretty cool..Good reference on the beginning of Batman Begins.. I didnt even notice all that..
September 17th, 2005 at 9:43 pm
Hilarious. In fact I volunteer to be one of your henchmen if you promise to give me the sole responsibility of making in class comment makers disappear. I would be a very creative henchman…
September 20th, 2005 at 5:02 pm
Are you kidding?!? You seriously would rather be the evil guy who dies at the end than the superhero who saves the world and gets the girl?
Since you brought up Batman Begins, let me remind you that Batman has tons of fun gadgets that can be used for crime fighting purposes (not to mention that car that uses slanted rooftops as roads and cement barriers as gates). And as far as I’m concerned, the Bat Cave definitely qualifies as a technologically-advanced secret hideout, able to rival the most sophisticated villain’s evil lair.
If the main appeal to being a supervillain is the snazzy attire, allow me to speak for all ladies when I say that Bruce Wayne cleans up with the best of them. Like Raz Al-Ghul, Bruce Wayne was also dressed to the nines in a tuxedo at his birthday party, but not until after making a quick change from that oh-so-sexy Bat Suit. Come to think of it, Bruce Wayne looks good regardless of his apparel (even when he’s doing push-ups in his pajamas—weird, I know). And while it’s true that Bruce Wayne spends a portion of the movie dressed as a grungy prisoner whereas Raz Al-Ghul is well-dressed for the duration of the show, I must point out that any supervillain who doesn’t get blown up in the end will wind up in prison garb after his or her plot to take over the world is stifled by the superhero. Where’s the glamour in that?
As for the point that every villain has countless thugs at his command, let’s be honest: they’re no good. No matter how many brutes team up to fight against all that is good, they never manage to overtake the superhero. Not to say that they couldn’t potentially be beneficial. I’m sure if they spent a little more time in the classroom and a little less time in the weight room, they could figure out that their key to success is in attacking the superhero all at once instead of standing idly by while their comrades get manhandled one at a time. It’s as if they’re in line at the DMV, watching their fellow thugs attempt to take care of the business at hand while patiently waiting for their own numbers to be called, signalling their individual chances at fate.
I’m just not convinced the pros of being the bad guy outweigh the pros of being the good guy. Perhaps my point of view on this subject is slightly biased due to my undying affection for Christian Bale, which was called to action at the mere mention of his most recent movie, forcing me to stand in defense of all superheroes (they need help sometimes, too). However, despite my motivations, I think as a general rule it’s better to err on the side of caution and choose good over evil when faced with these dilemmas. Unless, of course, it’s only the bad guys who get to speak in the English accents. I’m afraid I can’t argue with that.
September 21st, 2005 at 12:17 pm
Allison, let me remind you that by the end of Batman Begins, our beloved Bruce Wayne has been lit on fire, sprayed with weaponized hallucinogen, plummets several stories into hard objects (walls, the ground), has his home burned down, and doesn’t even get the girl in the end. Sounds like fun. I’ll take my chances as the bad guy.
September 21st, 2005 at 1:45 pm
Yes, Batman gets beat up, but it heals—he doesn’t have so much as a limp at the end. Have you forgotten that Raz Al-Ghul meets his shameful, fiery death in an old, run-down commuter train? (I know, I know, the fire appeals to you.)
It’s true that Bruce Wayne didn’t get the girl in the end; however, he also didn’t not get the girl. Timing is everything, and if they had a happily-ever-after ending in the first movie, the audience wouldn’t have as much motivation to watch the sequel (perhaps this is only true for the female portion of the audience, but that’s a good 50% of the market). Just ask Spiderman: the door to their happiness is still ajar, they just can’t walk through it yet. The time will come, and even if it doesn’t he’ll always be able to fall back on those European chicks that like to go swimming in fountains.
I should also point out that Bruce Wayne has plenty of money to rebuild his house and soup up the Bat Cave (and you know he’ll be staying in that 5-star hotel he bought until construction is finished… rough life). Money is the key to happiness, and he has it! But I guess that’s one thing he doesn’t necessarily have over Mr. Al-Ghul, because all good villains require proper financial backing before they can organize and initiate their plans for world domination. By the way, when do you expect to launch your attempt at global supremacy? I would really appreciate a heads up so that I can plan my vacation around it. Thanks.
September 22nd, 2005 at 3:55 pm
…Pinky, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
September 24th, 2005 at 3:02 am
Narf… (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)
With respect to the ongoing conversation about heros, and villans I must put in my 2 cents. In the fantasy world, the good guy wins… in the real world, I lose. I mean, ya get used to it, but no matter how many times it happens (the whole losing thing) it still bites. It would be cool if real life were like a real Super-hero movie… then I’d at least have potential for fame, almost getting the girl, and I’d have super powers… but I don’t live in a movie. This reality is harsh, and the good guy doesn’t always win. Actually, the good guy seldom wins. That, or some other good guy wins, and steals the victory from good guy #1. That’s just lame, the whole super hero against super hero thing… sigh.
October 1st, 2005 at 3:17 pm
I am pretty sure I am the last one on the planet that has not seen Batman Begins. It also seems to me that there is one “good guy” who has all of Nate’s cool perks apparently seen personified in Raz Al-Ghul. Bond, James Bond. He has cool gadgets, people that do his homework, an endless number of cool suits, and who could forget that oh-so-sexy English accent. Plus, he always gets the girl and never dies. He has it all, the perks of the bad guy and the guarenteed life of the good guy, who could ask for more? Plus Nate he ALWAYS has the coolest car!