I remember reading in some economics book about the diamond-water paradox. Basically, this paradox comments on how water, though far more useful to sustaining life, is generally valued far less than diamonds, relatively speaking. There are various theories that seek to explain why that is.

I, like many others, contend that as long as water is more plentiful, it’ll remain less valuable than diamonds. But just jack up the utility that you get from water, and see what happens. Here’s a real-life example, which is really the story that I wanted to tell in the first place.

So readers of the blog will no doubt remember The Rash. Well, The Rash was well on its way into oblivion, until it mysteriously reappeared, this time on my fingers and lips. “Dismayed” hardly begins to describe my feelings about this. After a couple of days of trying to fight this on my own, today I decided to call my doctor.

You’d think the second time around he’d react a little bit better, and you’d be completely wrong. He had another freakout, very similar to the one he had the first time I went in. He called in a prescription to the pharmacy nearest my work, and demanded that I come by in a week for another checkup.

So I walked into the pharmacy and picked up my prescriptions. As the pharmacist pulled my prescription, he stopped and said “Woah. What’s wrong with you?”

“Umm, I just have this rash that I need to get cleared up.”

“Well, this is a really heavy dose of antibiotic. I mean, REALLY heavy.”

“Umm, I guess he doesn’t want things to get infected?”

“I guess. But at this dose, you’ll be at risk of yeast infection instead.”

At this point, my brain said Woah. Stop. Yeast infection? Sounds like a feminine problem. You’re lacking some essential real estate for that problem, buddy. It’s not possible.

However, if the pharmacist says it’s a risk, then it must be a risk, right? So I told my brain to shut up and tried to play it cool, like I wasn’t panicking. “Yeast infection huh? Umm, anything I can do to avoid that?”

“Just drink plenty of water when you take it, and you should be fine.”

Done and done.

Fast forward a few hours. I had just finished a Bleu Ribbon Burger at Red Robin (delicious!), taken my medication (scary!) and was on my way to see Kung Foo Panda (hilarious!), when I realized that I hadn’t drunk nearly enough water with my meal for my medication. So once we were in the theater, I went to the concessions counter and asked for a big drink of water (because there’s no way in hell I’m getting a yeast infection). When the guy working the counter tried to hand me a small cup, I told him No way. It has to be a huge cup. You see, I need PLENTY of water. PLENTY. That’s big cup, even huge cup, but not little cup. The employee then informed me that if I wanted a large cup, I would have to pay for it like it was a large soda, even if it was just full of water. Obviously this was a total ripoff. No way a measly cup of water was worth the outrageous prices they charge for sugar water (and Dots) at movie concession stands.

But all of a sudden, the specter of a yeast infection loomed menacingly within my mind, crowding reason and thriftiness out. As I walked away from the counter with my $4 cup of water, I decided that Adam Smith would have had a way easier time with this paradox if he had been threatened with a yeast infection.

Tags: rash, yeast infection, decisions, economics, diamonds, water