Washington Post Mensa Invitational (2005)
OK, so I have some doubts as to whether this is really a MENSA-sponsored competition (The Washington Post had nothing on it when I did a search of their website), but I thought they were funny so I’ll post them up anyway.
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year’s {2005} winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
April 6th, 2006 at 11:36 pm
I decided I’m going to make up my own new words… like commit-mint: That minty fresh feeling you get inside when you find someone after an incredibly long spout of singleness.
April 6th, 2006 at 11:39 pm
maction: it’s what happens at the end of a good date. you get mac-tion
May 29th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
[...] Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very special place in my heart for puns and wordplay. In today’s issue of the Salt Lake Tribune, Paul Rolly included several puns from an “earlier” edition of the Washington Post. I’d come across these well over a year ago, and enjoyed them enough to pass them onto a good friend who appreciated them but didn’t fully trust their attributed source. [...]
February 7th, 2008 at 8:56 am
How about mensacant - a person who really aspires to mensahood but just doesn’t quite make the cutoff or alternately a person who repents ever joining mensa?