If you can’t spell it, you probably shouldn’t be here.

Towering Intellect

What’s In A Name?

August 6th, 2007 by Nate

Some readers of the blog are doubtless aware of the fact that I recently purchased a Spa-yellow 2001 Honda S2000. As I was driving it off the lot and over to my grandparents house, three of the 5 nuts on my right front wheel flew off, leaving my car disabled. Fortunately, I was less than a block from my grandparents house when this happened, so I managed to limp the car to their driveway so a towtruck could come and get it.

Naturally, my grandparents were highly amused that I had just spent so much on a purchase which they no doubt looked upon as being frivolous and impractical. As part of the (relatively) good-natured ribbing I received as a result of this incident, my grandpa started calling my car “the little yellow bomb.” Of course, everybody thought that this was hilarious, and the name started to stick, much to my chagrin.

Fast forward to yesterday. A friend of mine asked me what I had named my car (what is it with naming cars?). I told her it was called the yellow bomb and then I realized how far the cancer had spread and I decided then and there that no car of mine would be named the little yellow bomb.

So this friend asked what gender my car was. Of course I said female. I’m not waxing a dude car. Sorry. I then made a quick calculation of my car’s attributes: fast. yellow. high-maintainance (for a Honda). And as porly as this reflects upon me as well as my car, the next word that came to mind was “stripper.” And what’s the ultimate stripper name? Candy! (I can verify this because when I asked one of my coworkers to come up with a good stripper name, the first name he said was Candy. Sorry to all you ladies out there named Candy. You have a stripper name.)

Apparently, however, this name has not been well-received by the public in general, so I’m still in the hunt for a good name to call my car (NOT the little yellow bomb or any iteration thereof). Just keep to the guidlines: female car, probably a hot blond. Leave suggestions in the comments and after an unspecified period of time (whenever I feel like it), I’ll decide on a name. Hopefully sooner than later.

In the meantime, here’s a couple of photos of my car that I photoshopped that you can use for inspiration.

My Yellow S2K

Another Pic

Yet Another Pic

And One More Pic

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9 Responses

  1. The Other Nate Says:

    You should do it right and name your car after the most famous whore in history… Jezebel! Admit it, it fits. And you would laugh every time you introduced your car to someone.

  2. Jenn Says:

    How about Aphrodite? She’s the classical goddess of love, lust, and beauty. I think that about fits it? (I mean, it may not roll of the tongue, but how often do you actually use the name of your car?)

    At any rate, good luck with your search.

  3. Chanchita Says:

    Ok so the whole naming of a car thing, not really my style, however, If you’re going to sport a hot little yellow car why go girlie…. I myself in addition with my roomies dare to think that you would get more out of this if you named your car something more manly, hot and dangerous. Your stock in the dating world and with women in general would probably exceed any past records ever attempted to reach, if you get my point. So make fun, jest if you will but the name collectively decided upon here would be… Del Fuego. Rolls off the tongue, has a touch of humor, but is still hot and dangerous. But hey I ‘m no expert so what would I know…

  4. The Other Nate Says:

    Del Fuego? Sounds like something I’d call a particularly hot and steamy fart. “Woah, watch out! Just had a Del Fuego…” But, I guess if you like that sort of thing…

  5. Chanchita Says:

    Spoken in true “The Other Nate” fashion!

  6. The Other Nate Says:

    I’ll take that as a compliment Chanchita. Just know that I only destroy your ideas to better my own image. I know it’s a low-down and dirty thing to do, but I do what it takes to take the cake… oooh, cake. How I miss your soft, fluffy texture and your ever delicious sugary frosting. I have a cake shaped hole in my heart.

  7. Coworker Says:

    If you’re still looking for stripper names, just take any normal name and replace any “y” with an “i” and any “c” with a “k”. Examples: Kandi, Veronika, Staci, uh…Charmaine? Yeah, I guess nobody will hear how it’s spelled when you just speak it.

    In that case I’d just go with “Butter”. It’s smooth, it’s yellow, it’s bad for you and yet so good.

  8. Megan Says:

    So the other night Miri was telling me a story about a stripper (ask me later, I’ll explain) and her name was Cricket. Really. How gross is that? So if you want a really good (awful) stripper name - voila.

  9. Coworker Says:

    I should add Trixi to the mix. It really doesn’t matter how you spell it, it’s just plain dirty.

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